When it rains, it pours

Dr. Alok Kanojia, an american-indian psychiatrist claims – you will fail at everything in life and it will feel liberating. I didn’t need to read further into article, since I had already experienced it with my own skin and soul, I felt down to the bone brain how true this was. Everything had to go left in my life for me to only then see and recognize what had always been going right. And doesn’t it feel familiar – you have this privileged life, with all the comfort and convenience, and yet you can’t help but feel like an ungrateful c*nt, who is just never satisfied. So what do you do?

I can share with you where I started my journey and research into the labyrinths of human mind and where it has led me so far. So first of all – none of this is your fault. Being lazy, procrastinating, feeling jealous, unmotivated, not knowing where you fit in life, what you’re supposed to do, where to start or what is even the point of all this – all of these feelings are normal and you are definitely not the only one experiencing this. Good thing is – there are strategies that can help you cope with that. Bad things is – it takes work and willingness to change. So like with every typical diagnostic process in psychology – you have to recognize that you have a problem to begin with and then you need to be willing to get better. Without that, unfortunately, there is no way out. If only there was a magic pill to cure all your problems, wouldn’t that be great. But the truth of the matter is – human mind is an incredible machine, which has this main task of making sure that you survive. Your brain is elastic and flexible, it can adapt, change, learn and exceed all of your expectations. The magic pill is already within you, you just need to find your way back to yourself.

How do we do that? As I previously mentioned – none of these negative feelings are your fault, and let me explain why. Human brain was not evolved to function in this modern-day world. Our society has evolved very quickly over the past 100-200 years and the evolution of human organisms just didn’t have the chance to catch up yet. Our brains adapted over hundreds of thousands of years, so 200 years next to that is just nothing, it’s way too little time to make any changes necessary. We are constantly bombarded with impulses and stimuli, there is no time to process emotions and just be a human being. Taking up way more responsibilities than we can handle, putting all this imaginary pressure on ourselves and trying to be perfect in every aspect of life are just some of the factors that contribute to this epidemic of depression and unhappiness. Here are some small steps that you can already take today in order to start your healing process and minimize the suffering:

Don’t allow anyone determine what happens inside of you. Don’t let people influence your emotions. You can not control what happens around you, but you can definitely determine what happens inside of you. Allowing people to make you angry or upset or making them responsible for your happiness will only make you a slave and prohibit you from living a joyful life;

Since you can not control what happens in the outside world, focus on what you can control. Meaning – focus only on yourself and your own actions. You and your decisions are something that you definitely have a 100% say in and it should always stay that way. Put your energy towards your actions and don’t worry about the outcome. Focusing on the outcome will make you stressed and anxious, instead of having enough time and energy to put in the actual work to make things happen.

Find out what it actually is that you want. Once you know that – you will have a clear goal and a path towards it. Just like a ship without a destination, you don’t want to end up just pointlessly wandering around the sea.

My personal advice for figuring out the last part – strive for the full experience of living life as a human being. Life by itself should be a motivation enough and a source of joy. Everywhere you go, create a peaceful, joyful and loving world. Looking for a deeper meaning made a lot of people miserable and sad, so I don’t recommend that. Having one goal or one purpose in life may be harmful as well, because once you reach that – what do you do afterwards? Being born and being alive is a blessing that so many of us take for granted every day and as a result suffer in misery. Don’t be those people, that life doesn’t seem like much fun.

Join me on the fun side.

Love,

Faja