Winter, Christmas and Depression

Reflecting on the year that’s about to wrap up, the peak of Christmas Markets and desperate last-minute gift shopping is probably what describes best what’s on most people’s minds by mid-December. Caught up in between work and family, creating menus for the at least nine-day long binge-eating marathon, carefully crafting a schedule of visits and all of this – daily under the candle light starting at 4 pm, since it’s immoral to use the energy from Russia.

Humans need fresh air, daily sunlight and water to exist – we’re like these big, socially needy plants. No wonder we struggle in winter and come up with these lavish celebrations to at least somehow increase our dopamine levels. It’s hard to stay actively fit and get enough Vitamin D when it’s dark outside even before you leave work. Some may say that it’s a part of natural cycle, every end is the new beginning and seasons change, but do we really need rainy days to appreciate the sunny ones? What if instead of going through ups and downs one would just constantly stay on the same frequency of being appreciative and grateful for making it through another day?

One should always keep in mind that the end of the year just means that the Earth made another run around the Sun. We are literally flying through space on this big rock and it’s only thanks to physical laws of a three-dimension world and a chain of lucky circumstances that allowed us to be alive. That allowed you to have access to the internet, open up this blog and be reading this specific article. Keeping things in perspective definitely helps you to stay grounded and take things less seriously. Be present and less worried about your to-do lists, the ten-year plan, next career movie or the car you’re going to buy.

First-world problems and entitlement to certain things from having had lived a secure and good life for a very long time is something that in my opinion definitely contributes to dissatisfaction with life for a lot of people. I don’t personally see many people looking forward to 2023, rather more like this mass-anxiety and distrust towards what the future will bring. And honestly – who can blame them? The inflation is sky-rocketing at the speed of Sonic the Hedgehog and the authorities are practically openly saying that the only way to stop it is more unemployment (basic rule of economy – consumers have less money to spend, demand declines, offer follows and prices go down). Add on top that most of the people probably haven’t yet emotionally processed the year of 2020 and there you have it – it’s like we’re stuck in this movie “Groundhog Day” and every day is just the same.

Expectations are the root of unhappiness. Managing your expectations can help you avoid disappointments and give up the need for control. Don’t understand my slightly harsher than usual sarcastic tone as a sign of catastrophizing. Life is still good and I am looking forward to more living, traveling, trying out new things and telling you all about it. But if life already feels like you’re lying on the ground in a fetal position and you don’t know where the next punch is going to come from – why not embrace it? Stoics would say you only lose when you admit that you’re defeated and you can only be hurt by the things that you allow to hurt you. So it’s this mixed feeling of everything’s the same but somehow everything’s different that gets most of us confused and uncertain of what do. What helps me in these situations is giving myself the certainty that I am lacking from the outside world. Deciding that no matter what, I trust myself and that I can always rely on myself, not waiting for anybody else to give me the permission to live – making things happen on my own. Doing my research and looking inside to make sure I make the best decisions for myself possible. Not taking things, time or people for granted and yet putting myself first.

I will definitely sit at the dinner table, unwrap the gifts, that were assembled by modern day child slaves in far East Asia while looking at the blinking lights that burn the energy from Qatar (like all of us) and be totally aware of my own hypocrisy. This is the uncomfortable truth and I am not sorry to disappoint you, if this is not a good-feel read that you were maybe looking forward to. But it’s what you do with the information further, that matters. Make this holiday break different by looking at things from a different perspective and thinking, how you can make this life experience more bearable. Etiquette is about putting other people at ease. What if we started treating ourselves properly and made sure, that we put ourselves at ease, first and foremost. What World could that create.

Start with the man in the mirror.

Love,

Faja